Originally Posted by Frickaflip233

Well I can't convince you to quit full stop if you aren't ready. Your post reads to me like your addiction is doing the talking.

Your thread posted a few days ago talked about your kids recording you while drunk. You said you have been an alcoholic a long time, and its getting worse, as it does. I'm paraphrasing but those were your words....that was the truth, I believe.

I have been sober this time like 15 months ish. I spent 4 hours talking with my 17 year old .....just all kinds of stuff. But she spoke a lot about the chaos my addiction has caused her. I am a bender drinker, sober for months, even years, and then wham! All hell breaks loose. It's awful. Sometimes 3 times a year which is horrible. I am insane. And it doesn't matter how great a mom I am when I'm sober, I have ****** her up. No doubt. It is absolutely devastating and I have to face that fact. I try to tell myself 'hey straight A student, college bound, national honors society, ambassador Girl Scout, debate team'. But inside she is a frightened insecure little girl that doesn't ever really know if mom is going to dive off the deep end again. And that is terrible. I'm gutted today, quite frankly, but so grateful I could sit there, not be self absorbed, thinking about how hard this is on ME. but able to see in bright vivid and gut wrenching detail the damage that I have done.

What if you were to ask your kids what they thought of your plan? Not that you should, but if you were to put yourself in their shoes? And the alcoholic boyfriend? Respectfully, you are choosing to keep him around. Cut him lose now if you're serious about not being enabled.