TLC

Lost43,
I am so sorry you are going through this. Sending you lots of love and support. Your message just took my breath away. to hear you talk quickly brings back that life.

I totally understand your need to detach. I started to detach a couple years ago. Kicking him out of the house, then “trying” it again and again. But I never let him back in, mainly because he kept using and abusing both alcohol and me). He tried every tactic imaginable to get back in and as I held my line the abuse escalated until finally I couldn’t take it anymore. Strange that even in detaching, the pain still hurts. I wonder in detaching, are we shutting down the care for them, or are we so wounded that its not such a shock anymore. Are we just use to it? Regardless, its a terrible place to be!

He knew his tactics weren’t working on me and couldn’t bare the responsibility of ending it, so he went for inflicting maximum damage to me, his cruelty knew no bounds. I ended it.

I use to wonder about people that would severe ties and never speak to someone again and I never understood how they could do that. Then as I was detaching, I wondered how much worse would it have to get to take that step. I already hurt some much, that adding on more seemed unimaginable.

Someone on this site, early on, told me that if I stayed, he would take me under with him. I truly believe that.

The pain of letting go is big. You can do it though, you have already gone through so much. You know what, its been 6 months and not one person has called me a name, been cruel to me on any level or yelled at me…… not one! As the healing journey takes time, but its so much better out here. I’ll keep the light burning for you, thinking of you. Don’t let him take you under. You deserve so much more.
TLC