Originally Posted by
Neyce2393 
At times I feel like it's me and maybe I'm not being considerate enough to his feelings but then when I try and talk to him about his feeling he always deflects and we never talk about it. I have no idea what to do anymore and if anyone could give me any advice or a change of perspective I would greatly appreciate it.
Why would you think that? He has been an alcoholic since before you met him. He has said his coping mechanism is alcohol. That is his truth. It is not your responsiblity to worry about what you do or say that might have him decide to deal with an emotion with alcohol. That's his decision. Do you change yourself, what you say how you act so as not to possibly "trigger" him picking up a bottle of whiskey? Is that how you want to live your life? You didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it - that is way out of your realm of expertise. He needs help and support, it's up to him to get it.
Originally Posted by
Neyce2393 The next day we did discuss it and the only thing he could tell me was that this is how he handles things in life and if I didn't like it then to leave.
This is actually him being truthful. What is YOUR boundary here? He has stated, if you do not like him handling his emotions with alcohol, then leave.
He is telling you he is going to drink and if you don't like it then leave. How many times will he have to ask you to leave before you do?
I am really sorry if this sounds harsh, I know it does, I wish it didn't. The person you love said this is you - take it or leave. Leave - let that sink in, yes he actually said that.
He's told you how it's going to be.
You can continue this dance with him or not, your choice but looking at it realistically is very important or you could cruise along for years hoping he will become something he is not.