He attended the recovery program and didn't drink for almost the entire time(best time of our relationship together) he had gained new coping skills, a sense of pride in himself again, and started to repair the relationships in his life(with his kids, me parents,and friends) overall he was happy. He had a few relapses along the way(which is understandable) but overall he was doing great
he never fully quit then, did he? sober for almost the entire time....a FEW relapses..........then a return to full on drinking. he isn't ready or willing to give up the booze completely.
i think that might be a good place to start. to look at his relationship with alcohol objectively. it is very important to him, to the point he's willing to lost other relationships with real people. addiction is like that. cold and soulless.
it's not your fault. not at all. not unless you strap him to a chair, force a funnel down his throat and pour in the booze. in short, you aren't the one drinking, HE IS. this is his battle.
he did detox and rehab (IOP??) once, he MAY at some point want to try that again. maybe.........some day. it could and likely will get real ugly first. if you choose to stick around, it will get awful for you. how bad? nobody knows.