I was in a relationship very much like yours for 10+yrs and it got worse for us both as time went on. When I got serious about my sobriety I had to end it or keep drinking. I did not like the person she was when she was not drinking and then I did not like the person she was while drinking when I was getting sober/staying sober. Ultimate/long term "beer goggles" if you will. She was/is beautiful women from the outside,but once sober the writing was on the wall on who she is as a person, from my view of the type of people I want in my life.
I'd also skip out on the bar scene for a while if you really want to get/stay sober. 'Tests' don't go well for very long.