honeypig

But he's still drinking, and you are a part of it still, it sounds like.

It sounds like your reason for leaving was to make him stop drinking. Now that that hasn't happened, you're not sure what to do.

I looked at your previous posts, since you mentioned you were here in February. I see a total of 9 posts, all in 2 threads that you started yourself. I see the last one was on February 23. Numerous SR members suggested Alanon, reading around the SR forums, making sure to read the stickies, and so on.

At that time, and in the subsequent 5 months, have you taken any of those actions? I'm asking b/c recovery work is just that, work, whether it be for the A him/herself or for the spouse or family members who've been affected by the A's drinking. I didn't find real growth and healing by dropping in here every 5 or 6 months, posting a few times until I felt better, and then going back to life as usual. It took a serious commitment of time, effort and honesty for me to start moving forward, and that involved SR, Alanon, and tons of reading and listening to a wide variety of recovery and self-help material.

With that said, I think it's very normal to just "nibble around the edges" at first. I sure hoped that somehow it was going to be easier and/or different for me. I thought maybe things would change w/o me really having to change anything, or do anything scary or messy or painful...

My suggestion to you would be to start making that commitment--to yourself--and see if things become clearer. The fact that you say in one breath "I can't be a part of things any more" and in the next "I don't want to throw in the towel" tells me that you are unsure, and, I suspect, still at least somewhat uninformed.

Get to Alanon. Spend some time here at SR, but DON'T just stay in your own thread, read as widely as you can. And post to others--recovery is an active process. Get involved. I know I got out of it what I put into it.