Thread: Gabe's Thread
View Single Post
Old 07-16-2018, 12:46 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
Gabe1980
Member
 
Gabe1980's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Originally Posted by joandmelandhan View Post
Hey Gabe!
Found you at last!
Oh my days - anger, frustration and resentment. Trigger city! Honestly? I think for now remembering that above all else there is nothing that warrants another sip of poison. Keep your absolute focus on your sobriety - nothing else matters.
One of Dee's gems of advice comes in handy for me and it goes something on the lines of " drinking on anger/resentment is like pouring poison down your throat and expecting the other person to die".
That has dragged me through some pretty tricky situations Gabe.
Anger still remains something I struggle with. I think it stems from my desire to have total control over everything and I just can't no matter how much I want to.
So I try and do a little better each time. Think about what I can actually control, what effect this anger is having on me and do my very best to put the situation into perspective. Oh yes and try and remember that I am not the centre of everyone else's universe! Sometimes things are frankly none of my business!
I suspect that that feelings of anger are something to do with our poorly brains having uncomfortable feelings which are usually dealt with by anesthetising through alcohol. When our brain doesn't get it's fix it has a tantrum and we get very cross indeed!
Oh dear I'm rambling already and it's my first post on your thread!
Really in a nutshell I'm kind of just empathising with the feelings you are having. Internal dialogue over the situation does help and I know I'm hoping that over time the switch to angry beast will lessen.
But the main thing I need you to remember is that anger is (for me at least) trigger of all trigger if indulged. No matter how badly your brother may be behaving it's not worth that precious week you've earned is it?
Lots of love and absolutely keep offloading here like you are
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(can't work out how to do love hearts on my laptop so kisses will have to do!)
Hi Jojo Thanks for making over here, I love your posts! It is a tough one and I do know how destructive anger can be for me. I have such a strong experience connection between anger and guilt. I think I always found it impossible to express anger in any kind of controlled or positive way that when it comes out, it's ugly and I immediately feel guilty and afraid something bad will happen.
But y'know, I've said my piece about this (to family members) more than once and it's never helped, I've never felt better (mainly worse) and I don't want to do this anymore. So I'm letting go.......Thanks again Jo. Gabexx

That's really interesting about control though......things aren't the way I want them to be, so it makes me angry. I think it's as much about this as it is about feeling like my parents are being mistreated. I don't like how his behaviour makes me feel........I want to control this and fix it, but I can't.......hmmmmm that's something to think about xx
Gabe1980 is offline