Originally Posted by
Mtphc 
For me it's work, family life. I'm afraid I will lose everything before I fix anything. I m sick and tired o going on these benders
I don't wish this upon anybody. And I won't lie but this alcoholism has made progress where all my immediate family knows about it, just last night I got very emotional, my wife's friend was there my kids and there I was buzzed explaining my emotions, I guess I just have skeletons in my closet that I just can't get out(sorry not skeletons but just issues that need explaining), just too personal, but nevertheless they have to get out, nothing criminal of course but they have to get out
Mtphc,
Try to remember that drinking increases emotional volatility. The addiction doesn't really give a *** about your family or your job, it just wants to make up stupid excuses for you to not be sober.
I've got skeletons, I think a lot of us do. For many years my addiction used them as an excuse to drink - "If you had my problems, you'd drink too." Wrong. You can drink and have demons or you can not drink and have demons. The drinking is a separate matter altogether. If you can find a therapist who specializes in addiction, that could be very helpful. I work with a team - a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist and they have been very helpful.
Another option is to find someone to help you through the steps. (Full disclaimer, I haven't been yet.) I think Step 5 is all about confronting those old issues and learning to let go of the hold they have on us.
Just some Sunday morning ruminating I hope you'll find helpful in some way.
O