Hi cotwo. First of all, I completely understand your agitation with respect to feeling like constant maintenance (i.e. meetings, forums etc) is a hassle and not something you can keep up forever.
First of all, forget about ideas like “forever” and “the rest of my life”. When it comes to sobriety, just think about today and what you need to do today to stay sober. When tomorrow comes, you will do the same. For many, myself included, it is a daily struggle, but no longer an obsession. I’m still in early sobriety and have had and still sometimes have the same feelings you do. Why can’t there just be a cure? Like at some point people stop physical therapy for a broken leg; why can’t I be deemed fit to face the whole alcohol-feee on my own?
Well, it’s a lifelong thing. Stress and catastrophe are out there, and as alcoholics we too quickly forget the disaster that befell us when we drank. You mentioned people 15 years sober in meetings; I’ve known many people 30+ years sober who go to meetings every day. The meetings are the reason they’re still sober. No one is forcing them, no one is judging them or anything; they’ve made the decision to stay sober and they do what they need to do to remain that way.
That said, remember that nothing is guaranteed. I’ve heard too many stories of folks with 15-20 years, sometimes more, who fell off the wagon because they stopped being vigilant and remaining active in sober communities. It’s easy to forget how disastrous it is when alcohol is everywhere in society and alcohol is basically encouraged at social events. To remind myself why I’m sober, I remain active in a community to the extent that I know I need.
Bottom line is, you do what you need to do to stay sober. There aren’t any hard and fast rules; if it works for you, work it :-)