Glad you are with us and getting days under you!
It just struck me, as I reread the posts here, that perhaps reading up on what alcoholism is, its shapes and forms, how it progresses....might be helpful to you in understanding alcohol abuse and alcoholism....I googled some terms and found these-
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/a...ohol-abuse.htm https://www.recoveryranch.com/articl...-of-addiction/
It's easy to be even slightly disengenious (sp) with ourselves when reading these kind of pieces, but honesty and learning about drinking- and whether we see ourselves in these informational pieces - is critical.
I am not trying to encourage Dr Google methods....I am thinking about the rationalizations, denial and so on I had for a long time, as well as the "basic" (to me now) questions those just deciding to quit often have.
Stay with it.