Blogs


Notices

Amateur Alcoholic

Old 07-02-2018, 08:34 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Treebeard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 122
Amateur Alcoholic

Iím actually wondering if thereís anyone here like me. You see, I donít drink that much. Very rarely is it more than a six pack in a day, and more usually four. The problem is, I canít seem to follow my own self-imposed limits, like ďonly on the weekendsĒ etc. Sometimes, Iím full of resolve about it, and quit for a week or so without withdrawals, but then my resolve can just as quickly evaporate, and I pick up some beer on the way home.

Because of how I drink, itís easy to rationalize that I donít have a drinking problem (Iíve left off using the term alcoholic completely, except for use in post titles). So, it would be great to hear from others like myself, for encouragement and perspective.

I used to post here a long time ago, but I prefer to come at this fresh. Iíve chosen to give quitting another go (moderate use has seen sufficient experimentation to prove its failure as an option). Iím 51 now, and worried about my future health, and seeing my grandchildren grow up.

Thanks.
Treebeard is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Treebeard For This Useful Post:
allno (07-09-2018), Fearlessat50 (07-06-2018), Futurehope79 (07-03-2018), least (07-02-2018), LivinInLV (07-06-2018), MindfulMan (07-02-2018), newhope01 (07-02-2018), Rar (07-03-2018), Tang (07-05-2018), Verdantia (07-03-2018)
Old 07-02-2018, 08:43 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 84,800
Blog Entries: 32
It really doesn't matter what you drink, or how much, or how often. What matters is what happens to you when you drink. If it's causing problems, best to give it up and live sober.

I hope our support can help you achieve lasting sobriety.
least is online now  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (07-03-2018), August252015 (07-03-2018), Berrybean (07-02-2018), Mummyto2 (07-03-2018), PeacefulWater12 (07-02-2018), thomas11 (07-03-2018), Verdantia (07-03-2018)
Old 07-02-2018, 08:44 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 21
Dam, come to find out the only thing Iím professional at is alcoholism haha
WillLee13 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to WillLee13 For This Useful Post:
Gottalife (07-06-2018), tekink (07-03-2018), tomsteve (07-03-2018)
Old 07-02-2018, 08:47 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
No Dogma Please
 
MindfulMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
If you cannot stop, it's not good.

Europeans normally drink a few glasses of wine a day or a few beers. It's cultural. I don't think that all Europeans are alcoholics.

But if you can't EASILY stop for 6 weeks...that's always my litmus test. If you can...vaya con dios. And I mean maybe have a day or two where you think about it and maybe get a bit trembly....but if you're counting off days until you can drink again, you're proving the point.

If you're worried, stop. You shouldn't have significant withdrawal issues (never say never, but the odds are forever in your favour on this one). You still need to make a plan and probably join some formal sobriety group like AA or RR or whatever's ur pleasure.

So do what it takes and stop. There are a ton of resources here to help you on your way.

What's the advantage to continued drinking? There must be at least one or this would be a no-brainer.
MindfulMan is offline  
Old 07-02-2018, 10:00 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 187,768
Blog Entries: 1
HI treebeard - my thought is if you've been here before, and you're back, something's not as you like it be.

It doesn't really matter how much you drink or how often - it's what happens to you when you do.

Welcome back

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
August252015 (07-03-2018), Gottalife (07-06-2018), NerfThis (07-03-2018), thomas11 (07-03-2018), Verdantia (07-03-2018)
Old 07-03-2018, 05:33 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Because of how I drink, it’s easy to rationalize that I don’t have a drinking problem (I’ve left off using the term alcoholic completely, except for use in post titles). So, it would be great to hear from others like myself, for encouragement and perspective.

i was there at one time.in complete denial over alcohol being a problem. over time alcoholism progressed. eventually i crossed the line into full blown alcoholism and couldnt control how much i drank and the majority of the time didnt even try to control how much i drank.

im glad youre willing to do something about it now
tomsteve is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tomsteve For This Useful Post:
NerfThis (07-03-2018), Outonthetiles (07-07-2018)
Old 07-03-2018, 05:40 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 20,090
Even with four per day that is still double the recommended upper limit for men. Four times the amount for women.

I drank like that for a lot of years. Then...it really got its hooks in and I started having frequent blackouts, some days where I had 12-20 drinks, and some days when I drank in the morning. Reckless behavior under the influence. Health issues, mental health issues. Thing is, I didn't see that coming - it just happened. I only looked at it after the fact.

Alcoholism is progressive, and there was no denying it: it started demanding more.

If drinking is a problem, quitting is the solution.
biminiblue is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to biminiblue For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (07-05-2018), August252015 (07-03-2018), Dee74 (07-03-2018), NerfThis (07-03-2018), Rar (07-03-2018), Tang (07-05-2018), Verdantia (07-03-2018)
Old 07-03-2018, 06:02 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,541
I'm of the belief that if you can't stop drinking, alcohol WILL eventually ruin your life to varying degrees. From as simple as losing a job, to health issues and death. It will "get ya". I know I cam perilously close to losing absolutely everything, and did indeed lose some things that were important to me.
thomas11 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to thomas11 For This Useful Post:
August252015 (07-04-2018), Tang (07-05-2018), Verdantia (07-03-2018)
Old 07-03-2018, 07:33 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
I remember the day I drank a whole six pack in one sitting. It kind of shocked me. It was a long time ago. The next milestone I remember was drinking three six packs in one sitting. I lost a lot in that space in between.
Mattq2 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Mattq2 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (07-03-2018), Fearlessat50 (07-06-2018), Rar (07-03-2018), Tang (07-05-2018), Trelkovsky (07-06-2018)
Old 07-03-2018, 07:40 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
My first thought reading your title was that we're splicing an apple here, giving qualifying terms to what's the same essential thing: alcoholism, or whatever euphemism you prefer when you can't bring yourself to say that word simply and outright.

This sounds like a bargaining stage to me - most or all of us went through it as we made our way to becoming a full blown alcoholic, so to speak, or whatever we call it meant for us.

Some people can stop during this phase, whatever their consumption or habits around drinking- most of us couldn't. I hope you look at the negatives drinking causes in your life, don't make comparisons about quantity, frequency etc, and choose to stop and be as healthy as you can be now.

Best to you.
August252015 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to August252015 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (07-03-2018), Fearlessat50 (07-06-2018), Verdantia (07-03-2018)
Old 07-03-2018, 09:41 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,173
Originally Posted by Treebeard View Post
Iím actually wondering if thereís anyone here like me. You see, I donít drink that much. Very rarely is it more than a six pack in a day, and more usually four. The problem is, I canít seem to follow my own self-imposed limits, like ďonly on the weekendsĒ etc. Sometimes, Iím full of resolve about it, and quit for a week or so without withdrawals, but then my resolve can just as quickly evaporate, and I pick up some beer on the way home.

Because of how I drink, itís easy to rationalize that I donít have a drinking problem (Iíve left off using the term alcoholic completely, except for use in post titles). So, it would be great to hear from others like myself, for encouragement and perspective.

I used to post here a long time ago, but I prefer to come at this fresh. Iíve chosen to give quitting another go (moderate use has seen sufficient experimentation to prove its failure as an option). Iím 51 now, and worried about my future health, and seeing my grandchildren grow up.

Thanks.
I think we are pretty much all like you TreeBeard, that's why we come here ;-) All of us at some point in our life realized that our drinking was a problem. The amount/frequency really isn't all that important so much as that it was causing problems elsewhere in our lives. And like you are doing in this post, most of us tried to rationalize/minimize the problem - that's textbook addiction. Some also call it the "barganing" stage. We compare our drinking to others to see where we stand - but no matter how much you drink there will always be people who are worse.

Think of this statement for a second that you just wrote

You see, I donít drink that much. Very rarely is it more than a six pack in a day, and more usually four.


You could paraphrase that by saying "You see, I don't abuse alcohol - except when I abuse alcohol", right?

Either way, it's good that you are hear asking questions - and the fact that you are here in the first place should be a sign in itself, right?
ScottFromWI is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to ScottFromWI For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (07-05-2018), August252015 (07-04-2018), Dee74 (07-03-2018), Rar (07-03-2018), Tang (07-05-2018)
Old 07-03-2018, 10:09 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Australia
Posts: 66
Originally Posted by Treebeard View Post
Iím actually wondering if thereís anyone here like me. You see, I donít drink that much. Very rarely is it more than a six pack in a day, and more usually four. The problem is, I canít seem to follow my own self-imposed limits, like ďonly on the weekendsĒ etc. Sometimes, Iím full of resolve about it, and quit for a week or so without withdrawals, but then my resolve can just as quickly evaporate, and I pick up some beer on the way home.

Because of how I drink, itís easy to rationalize that I donít have a drinking problem (Iíve left off using the term alcoholic completely, except for use in post titles). So, it would be great to hear from others like myself, for encouragement and perspective.

I used to post here a long time ago, but I prefer to come at this fresh. Iíve chosen to give quitting another go (moderate use has seen sufficient experimentation to prove its failure as an option). Iím 51 now, and worried about my future health, and seeing my grandchildren grow up.

Thanks.
Hi Mate

I was very much where you are saying but I don't drink that much so how can I be an alcoholic.

I offer you the definition I have settled on. If I decided (which I did) to not drink for 1 year and found that I faced strong urges to drink which I had to struggle to control. I would have to admit to having a problem.
AWald88 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to AWald88 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (07-04-2018), Tang (07-05-2018)
Old 07-04-2018, 03:22 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Treebeard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 122
A number of you talked about ďbargainingĒ. I often say things to myself like, ďIf I donít drink again till the weekend, then itís not such a big deal if I drink tonightĒ and the like. Is this what you mean?

Of course, I rarely follow through on my plan to abstain until the weekend. Thereís always another justification available next time I feel the urge. And Iím surprisingly easy to convince, compared to, say, when Iím trying to convince myself to go to the gym.

I appreciate all your input. The last time I quit for any substantial period (like 8 months), I had you guys holding my hand as well. Thanks.
Treebeard is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Treebeard For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (07-04-2018), Fearlessat50 (07-06-2018), LivinInLV (07-06-2018), Tang (07-05-2018), tomsteve (07-05-2018)
Old 07-04-2018, 10:05 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 6,791
Treebeard,
you have identified the problem, but you got sidetracked into thinking it might be defined by the amount you drink.

here:
" i can't seem to follow my own self- imposed limits"

would it be fair to suggest omitting the "seem to"?
fini is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to fini For This Useful Post:
August252015 (07-05-2018), Fearlessat50 (07-06-2018), Tang (07-05-2018), tomsteve (07-05-2018)
Old 07-05-2018, 04:39 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
That's an example of bargaining. Also:

If I don't drink in the morning, I can't be an alcoholic.
I'm not like [ ] so I must not be that bad.
I'll only drink at home.
I'll only drink at a party.

I'll . . . bargaining can be anything that justifies your drinking, focuses on the differences not similarities to others (like I mentioned above)....whatever your version(s) of denial, trying to control, etc is/are.

I needed an IRL program (mine is AA) to start my recovery and keep it going and progressing here at 28 mo and change. There are plenty of other options - but you do NOT have to white knuckle it, in any way shape or form.

Life is infinitely better for me now that I am in recovery. In fact, I'd wish my life on anyone - it's not perfect but it is beautiful. I hope you choose to seek that out for yourself.
August252015 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to August252015 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (07-06-2018), Fearlessat50 (07-06-2018), Tang (07-05-2018)
Old 07-06-2018, 08:50 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 6,791
how are things going with you, Treebeard?
fini is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to fini For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (07-06-2018)
Old 07-06-2018, 12:15 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,960
Like I was told when I joined here "If you have to ask...odds are". Also no one accidentaly finds this place. Seems you know there's an issue with your drinking and 'normal drinkers' don't talk themselves into/out of drinking. It's a non issue for most and it will get worse with time. My exAgf would come up with some elaborate 'reasons' to go to the bar for food. As if that's the only place that serves it? LOL I didn't notice until I started getting sober and then the extent of my drinking excuses were clear as day "Little league world series is on..lets go to the bar!" Stupid crap like that..Insane! Glad to be out of that nonsense!


Edit: Also..It's a winless battle trying to 'outsmart the drink' and be able to have a few now and then. Trust me...I've tried. My 'partying' is done for good and that's fine with me.
DontRemember is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to DontRemember For This Useful Post:
August252015 (07-06-2018), Dee74 (07-06-2018), Rar (07-06-2018)
Old 07-06-2018, 01:21 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Treebeard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 122
Originally Posted by fini View Post
how are things going with you, Treebeard?
Hanging in there. Iím on Day 5, now. Not too difficult so far. Some family issues going on, but feeling depressed usually makes me NOT want to drink, so itís actually helpful. LOL

How bout you?
Treebeard is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Treebeard For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (07-06-2018), Fearlessat50 (07-06-2018), Rar (07-06-2018), ScottFromWI (07-06-2018)
Old 07-06-2018, 01:27 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Treebeard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 122
Originally Posted by DontRemember View Post
Like I was told when I joined here "If you have to ask...odds are". Also no one accidentaly finds this place. Seems you know there's an issue with your drinking and 'normal drinkers' don't talk themselves into/out of drinking. It's a non issue for most and it will get worse with time. My exAgf would come up with some elaborate 'reasons' to go to the bar for food. As if that's the only place that serves it? LOL I didn't notice until I started getting sober and then the extent of my drinking excuses were clear as day "Little league world series is on..lets go to the bar!" Stupid crap like that..Insane! Glad to be out of that nonsense!


Edit: Also..It's a winless battle trying to 'outsmart the drink' and be able to have a few now and then. Trust me...I've tried. My 'partying' is done for good and that's fine with me.
Yeah, my experiments with ďonly on the weekendĒ etc. have never worked out.

Itís weird, tho, because Iíve been drinking for like 35 years, and my consumption has decreased. When I was 30, Iíd down a 12-pack on the weekend nights, and the better part of a 6-pack on school nights. Most recently, itís been a six pack, max. I canít take the hangovers anymore.

Oddly, this change hasnít made it any easier to quit. If anything, itís been harder to abstain. Kinda surprising for me.
Treebeard is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Treebeard For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (07-06-2018), Rar (07-06-2018), ScottFromWI (07-06-2018)
Old 07-06-2018, 02:17 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,960
Originally Posted by Treebeard View Post
Yeah, my experiments with ďonly on the weekendĒ etc. have never worked out.

Itís weird, tho, because Iíve been drinking for like 35 years, and my consumption has decreased. When I was 30, Iíd down a 12-pack on the weekend nights, and the better part of a 6-pack on school nights. Most recently, itís been a six pack, max. I canít take the hangovers anymore.

Oddly, this change hasnít made it any easier to quit. If anything, itís been harder to abstain. Kinda surprising for me.
I **knew** my drinking was becoming problematic when I joined here and I started 'taming it down'. I think(?) it was 2yrs later that I crashed my truck absolutely obliterated! The court forced me into AA(I'm not an avid AA'er),but it was then that I accepted I needed to change my lifestyle. Nothing wrong with being sober. I have friends that are 'jealous' of me and that trips me out..I'm like "dude..stop drinking maybe?" I guess it's a bit odd with me saying that to them after my bs I've done and suprisingly lived through,but I can see their progression into it. Pure madness over nonsense really.
DontRemember is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to DontRemember For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (07-06-2018), Gottalife (07-06-2018), Rar (07-06-2018)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:44 PM.