Amateur Alcoholic
Amateur Alcoholic
I’m actually wondering if there’s anyone here like me. You see, I don’t drink that much. Very rarely is it more than a six pack in a day, and more usually four. The problem is, I can’t seem to follow my own self-imposed limits, like “only on the weekends” etc. Sometimes, I’m full of resolve about it, and quit for a week or so without withdrawals, but then my resolve can just as quickly evaporate, and I pick up some beer on the way home.
Because of how I drink, it’s easy to rationalize that I don’t have a drinking problem (I’ve left off using the term alcoholic completely, except for use in post titles). So, it would be great to hear from others like myself, for encouragement and perspective.
I used to post here a long time ago, but I prefer to come at this fresh. I’ve chosen to give quitting another go (moderate use has seen sufficient experimentation to prove its failure as an option). I’m 51 now, and worried about my future health, and seeing my grandchildren grow up.
Thanks.
Because of how I drink, it’s easy to rationalize that I don’t have a drinking problem (I’ve left off using the term alcoholic completely, except for use in post titles). So, it would be great to hear from others like myself, for encouragement and perspective.
I used to post here a long time ago, but I prefer to come at this fresh. I’ve chosen to give quitting another go (moderate use has seen sufficient experimentation to prove its failure as an option). I’m 51 now, and worried about my future health, and seeing my grandchildren grow up.
Thanks.
It really doesn't matter what you drink, or how much, or how often. What matters is what happens to you when you drink. If it's causing problems, best to give it up and live sober.
I hope our support can help you achieve lasting sobriety.
I hope our support can help you achieve lasting sobriety.
If you cannot stop, it's not good.
Europeans normally drink a few glasses of wine a day or a few beers. It's cultural. I don't think that all Europeans are alcoholics.
But if you can't EASILY stop for 6 weeks...that's always my litmus test. If you can...vaya con dios. And I mean maybe have a day or two where you think about it and maybe get a bit trembly....but if you're counting off days until you can drink again, you're proving the point.
If you're worried, stop. You shouldn't have significant withdrawal issues (never say never, but the odds are forever in your favour on this one). You still need to make a plan and probably join some formal sobriety group like AA or RR or whatever's ur pleasure.
So do what it takes and stop. There are a ton of resources here to help you on your way.
What's the advantage to continued drinking? There must be at least one or this would be a no-brainer.
Europeans normally drink a few glasses of wine a day or a few beers. It's cultural. I don't think that all Europeans are alcoholics.
But if you can't EASILY stop for 6 weeks...that's always my litmus test. If you can...vaya con dios. And I mean maybe have a day or two where you think about it and maybe get a bit trembly....but if you're counting off days until you can drink again, you're proving the point.
If you're worried, stop. You shouldn't have significant withdrawal issues (never say never, but the odds are forever in your favour on this one). You still need to make a plan and probably join some formal sobriety group like AA or RR or whatever's ur pleasure.
So do what it takes and stop. There are a ton of resources here to help you on your way.
What's the advantage to continued drinking? There must be at least one or this would be a no-brainer.
HI treebeard - my thought is if you've been here before, and you're back, something's not as you like it be.
It doesn't really matter how much you drink or how often - it's what happens to you when you do.
Welcome back
D
It doesn't really matter how much you drink or how often - it's what happens to you when you do.
Welcome back
D
Because of how I drink, it’s easy to rationalize that I don’t have a drinking problem (I’ve left off using the term alcoholic completely, except for use in post titles). So, it would be great to hear from others like myself, for encouragement and perspective.
i was there at one time.in complete denial over alcohol being a problem. over time alcoholism progressed. eventually i crossed the line into full blown alcoholism and couldnt control how much i drank and the majority of the time didnt even try to control how much i drank.
im glad youre willing to do something about it now
i was there at one time.in complete denial over alcohol being a problem. over time alcoholism progressed. eventually i crossed the line into full blown alcoholism and couldnt control how much i drank and the majority of the time didnt even try to control how much i drank.
im glad youre willing to do something about it now
Even with four per day that is still double the recommended upper limit for men. Four times the amount for women.
I drank like that for a lot of years. Then...it really got its hooks in and I started having frequent blackouts, some days where I had 12-20 drinks, and some days when I drank in the morning. Reckless behavior under the influence. Health issues, mental health issues. Thing is, I didn't see that coming - it just happened. I only looked at it after the fact.
Alcoholism is progressive, and there was no denying it: it started demanding more.
If drinking is a problem, quitting is the solution.
I drank like that for a lot of years. Then...it really got its hooks in and I started having frequent blackouts, some days where I had 12-20 drinks, and some days when I drank in the morning. Reckless behavior under the influence. Health issues, mental health issues. Thing is, I didn't see that coming - it just happened. I only looked at it after the fact.
Alcoholism is progressive, and there was no denying it: it started demanding more.
If drinking is a problem, quitting is the solution.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I'm of the belief that if you can't stop drinking, alcohol WILL eventually ruin your life to varying degrees. From as simple as losing a job, to health issues and death. It will "get ya". I know I cam perilously close to losing absolutely everything, and did indeed lose some things that were important to me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
I remember the day I drank a whole six pack in one sitting. It kind of shocked me. It was a long time ago. The next milestone I remember was drinking three six packs in one sitting. I lost a lot in that space in between.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
My first thought reading your title was that we're splicing an apple here, giving qualifying terms to what's the same essential thing: alcoholism, or whatever euphemism you prefer when you can't bring yourself to say that word simply and outright.
This sounds like a bargaining stage to me - most or all of us went through it as we made our way to becoming a full blown alcoholic, so to speak, or whatever we call it meant for us.
Some people can stop during this phase, whatever their consumption or habits around drinking- most of us couldn't. I hope you look at the negatives drinking causes in your life, don't make comparisons about quantity, frequency etc, and choose to stop and be as healthy as you can be now.
Best to you.
This sounds like a bargaining stage to me - most or all of us went through it as we made our way to becoming a full blown alcoholic, so to speak, or whatever we call it meant for us.
Some people can stop during this phase, whatever their consumption or habits around drinking- most of us couldn't. I hope you look at the negatives drinking causes in your life, don't make comparisons about quantity, frequency etc, and choose to stop and be as healthy as you can be now.
Best to you.
I’m actually wondering if there’s anyone here like me. You see, I don’t drink that much. Very rarely is it more than a six pack in a day, and more usually four. The problem is, I can’t seem to follow my own self-imposed limits, like “only on the weekends” etc. Sometimes, I’m full of resolve about it, and quit for a week or so without withdrawals, but then my resolve can just as quickly evaporate, and I pick up some beer on the way home.
Because of how I drink, it’s easy to rationalize that I don’t have a drinking problem (I’ve left off using the term alcoholic completely, except for use in post titles). So, it would be great to hear from others like myself, for encouragement and perspective.
I used to post here a long time ago, but I prefer to come at this fresh. I’ve chosen to give quitting another go (moderate use has seen sufficient experimentation to prove its failure as an option). I’m 51 now, and worried about my future health, and seeing my grandchildren grow up.
Thanks.
Because of how I drink, it’s easy to rationalize that I don’t have a drinking problem (I’ve left off using the term alcoholic completely, except for use in post titles). So, it would be great to hear from others like myself, for encouragement and perspective.
I used to post here a long time ago, but I prefer to come at this fresh. I’ve chosen to give quitting another go (moderate use has seen sufficient experimentation to prove its failure as an option). I’m 51 now, and worried about my future health, and seeing my grandchildren grow up.
Thanks.
Think of this statement for a second that you just wrote
You see, I don’t drink that much. Very rarely is it more than a six pack in a day, and more usually four.
You could paraphrase that by saying "You see, I don't abuse alcohol - except when I abuse alcohol", right?
Either way, it's good that you are hear asking questions - and the fact that you are here in the first place should be a sign in itself, right?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Australia
Posts: 73
I’m actually wondering if there’s anyone here like me. You see, I don’t drink that much. Very rarely is it more than a six pack in a day, and more usually four. The problem is, I can’t seem to follow my own self-imposed limits, like “only on the weekends” etc. Sometimes, I’m full of resolve about it, and quit for a week or so without withdrawals, but then my resolve can just as quickly evaporate, and I pick up some beer on the way home.
Because of how I drink, it’s easy to rationalize that I don’t have a drinking problem (I’ve left off using the term alcoholic completely, except for use in post titles). So, it would be great to hear from others like myself, for encouragement and perspective.
I used to post here a long time ago, but I prefer to come at this fresh. I’ve chosen to give quitting another go (moderate use has seen sufficient experimentation to prove its failure as an option). I’m 51 now, and worried about my future health, and seeing my grandchildren grow up.
Thanks.
Because of how I drink, it’s easy to rationalize that I don’t have a drinking problem (I’ve left off using the term alcoholic completely, except for use in post titles). So, it would be great to hear from others like myself, for encouragement and perspective.
I used to post here a long time ago, but I prefer to come at this fresh. I’ve chosen to give quitting another go (moderate use has seen sufficient experimentation to prove its failure as an option). I’m 51 now, and worried about my future health, and seeing my grandchildren grow up.
Thanks.
I was very much where you are saying but I don't drink that much so how can I be an alcoholic.
I offer you the definition I have settled on. If I decided (which I did) to not drink for 1 year and found that I faced strong urges to drink which I had to struggle to control. I would have to admit to having a problem.
A number of you talked about “bargaining”. I often say things to myself like, “If I don’t drink again till the weekend, then it’s not such a big deal if I drink tonight” and the like. Is this what you mean?
Of course, I rarely follow through on my plan to abstain until the weekend. There’s always another justification available next time I feel the urge. And I’m surprisingly easy to convince, compared to, say, when I’m trying to convince myself to go to the gym.
I appreciate all your input. The last time I quit for any substantial period (like 8 months), I had you guys holding my hand as well. Thanks.
Of course, I rarely follow through on my plan to abstain until the weekend. There’s always another justification available next time I feel the urge. And I’m surprisingly easy to convince, compared to, say, when I’m trying to convince myself to go to the gym.
I appreciate all your input. The last time I quit for any substantial period (like 8 months), I had you guys holding my hand as well. Thanks.
Treebeard,
you have identified the problem, but you got sidetracked into thinking it might be defined by the amount you drink.
here:
" i can't seem to follow my own self- imposed limits"
would it be fair to suggest omitting the "seem to"?
you have identified the problem, but you got sidetracked into thinking it might be defined by the amount you drink.
here:
" i can't seem to follow my own self- imposed limits"
would it be fair to suggest omitting the "seem to"?
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
That's an example of bargaining. Also:
If I don't drink in the morning, I can't be an alcoholic.
I'm not like [ ] so I must not be that bad.
I'll only drink at home.
I'll only drink at a party.
I'll . . . bargaining can be anything that justifies your drinking, focuses on the differences not similarities to others (like I mentioned above)....whatever your version(s) of denial, trying to control, etc is/are.
I needed an IRL program (mine is AA) to start my recovery and keep it going and progressing here at 28 mo and change. There are plenty of other options - but you do NOT have to white knuckle it, in any way shape or form.
Life is infinitely better for me now that I am in recovery. In fact, I'd wish my life on anyone - it's not perfect but it is beautiful. I hope you choose to seek that out for yourself.
If I don't drink in the morning, I can't be an alcoholic.
I'm not like [ ] so I must not be that bad.
I'll only drink at home.
I'll only drink at a party.
I'll . . . bargaining can be anything that justifies your drinking, focuses on the differences not similarities to others (like I mentioned above)....whatever your version(s) of denial, trying to control, etc is/are.
I needed an IRL program (mine is AA) to start my recovery and keep it going and progressing here at 28 mo and change. There are plenty of other options - but you do NOT have to white knuckle it, in any way shape or form.
Life is infinitely better for me now that I am in recovery. In fact, I'd wish my life on anyone - it's not perfect but it is beautiful. I hope you choose to seek that out for yourself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Like I was told when I joined here "If you have to ask...odds are". Also no one accidentaly finds this place. Seems you know there's an issue with your drinking and 'normal drinkers' don't talk themselves into/out of drinking. It's a non issue for most and it will get worse with time. My exAgf would come up with some elaborate 'reasons' to go to the bar for food. As if that's the only place that serves it? LOL I didn't notice until I started getting sober and then the extent of my drinking excuses were clear as day "Little league world series is on..lets go to the bar!" Stupid crap like that..Insane! Glad to be out of that nonsense!
Edit: Also..It's a winless battle trying to 'outsmart the drink' and be able to have a few now and then. Trust me...I've tried. My 'partying' is done for good and that's fine with me.
Edit: Also..It's a winless battle trying to 'outsmart the drink' and be able to have a few now and then. Trust me...I've tried. My 'partying' is done for good and that's fine with me.
Like I was told when I joined here "If you have to ask...odds are". Also no one accidentaly finds this place. Seems you know there's an issue with your drinking and 'normal drinkers' don't talk themselves into/out of drinking. It's a non issue for most and it will get worse with time. My exAgf would come up with some elaborate 'reasons' to go to the bar for food. As if that's the only place that serves it? LOL I didn't notice until I started getting sober and then the extent of my drinking excuses were clear as day "Little league world series is on..lets go to the bar!" Stupid crap like that..Insane! Glad to be out of that nonsense!
Edit: Also..It's a winless battle trying to 'outsmart the drink' and be able to have a few now and then. Trust me...I've tried. My 'partying' is done for good and that's fine with me.
Edit: Also..It's a winless battle trying to 'outsmart the drink' and be able to have a few now and then. Trust me...I've tried. My 'partying' is done for good and that's fine with me.
It’s weird, tho, because I’ve been drinking for like 35 years, and my consumption has decreased. When I was 30, I’d down a 12-pack on the weekend nights, and the better part of a 6-pack on school nights. Most recently, it’s been a six pack, max. I can’t take the hangovers anymore.
Oddly, this change hasn’t made it any easier to quit. If anything, it’s been harder to abstain. Kinda surprising for me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Yeah, my experiments with “only on the weekend” etc. have never worked out.
It’s weird, tho, because I’ve been drinking for like 35 years, and my consumption has decreased. When I was 30, I’d down a 12-pack on the weekend nights, and the better part of a 6-pack on school nights. Most recently, it’s been a six pack, max. I can’t take the hangovers anymore.
Oddly, this change hasn’t made it any easier to quit. If anything, it’s been harder to abstain. Kinda surprising for me.
It’s weird, tho, because I’ve been drinking for like 35 years, and my consumption has decreased. When I was 30, I’d down a 12-pack on the weekend nights, and the better part of a 6-pack on school nights. Most recently, it’s been a six pack, max. I can’t take the hangovers anymore.
Oddly, this change hasn’t made it any easier to quit. If anything, it’s been harder to abstain. Kinda surprising for me.
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