Really want to take the weekend off of sobriety. Feeling totally restless and like I want to go do drugs and drink at the bar I used to work at with the friends I used to have and then pretend it didn't happen.
It's one day at a time so I won't drink tonight. I'm going to a wedding tomorrow and there will be drunk people there and probably cocaine but I worked hard to get here and have many people that will be disappointed in me and will be even further away from my spiritual goals if I drink.
Am i going to feel like this forever? At the meeting I went to today 2 people said they would and sometimes do think about putting a gun in their mouths before they think about taking a drink. F that. I'll pick up a drink and hope I come back from a relapse before I kill myself. These are people with long term sobriety, with families and one with a 2 year old. If they aren't feeling fulfilled in their lives, what is going on.
Thanks for letting me write out my thoughts.