I've actually struggled with the "all or nothing" type thing too. I'm a recovering perfectionist. I also tend to be intense. Any place I've ever worked I've ended up in the most intense area(s). I don't think I do this on purpose.....but why oh why do I have this tendency? I'm still learning.....
Take music for instance. There was a time when I was VERY busy with gigs....busier than I bargained for. Not doing that so much anymore because it got to be too much....BUT just last night I had a dream that felt very real and I was getting ready for a performance....I felt that same sense of "pressure" to make it outstanding.....from making sure the instruments were tuned perfectly to warming up the vocals....to putting on the perfect outfit and looking my best for the performance....when I got to the venue I found that I forgot my velvet shirt I had picked out......Yikes!! So I had to find a different shirt at the last minute....and that's when I woke up................................................ ..........This all or nothing I think is buried so deep in my psyche I still have these performance dreams....I still have dreams about my last workplace and I haven't worked there in 8 years....what does that tell you?