I am truly sorry to hear you're having a bad time mera. You have always been a great support and inspiration to many on here and we are here for you now.
Things will get better but please don't keep on drinking. Nothing improves until we stop again. I relate I had 3.5 years then picked up again and things really have just gone downhill since then. It needn't be that way for you though. You will get a new job and your licence back. The memories will fade and you will become stronger fer again.