For me it was a a never ending cycle. Feel terrible and anxious in the morning. Swear on my life that I would never drink again. By late afternoon I would begin to forget how bad it was and by late evening I would say what the hell and have a drink. Went on for months, years, decades. My addicted brain could convince me of most anything.
From what I’ve read and learned here at SR many alcoholics behave this way. I realized there were so many people like me and I wasn’t alone in this crazy daily nightmare.
The good news is the cycle can be broken. The pain and anxiety will go away. I learned to recognize that it was my AV and I needed to ignore it at all costs. I promise you can do it if you want to badly enough. It truely is worth the effort.
Remember your not alone, we are here with you. We are just like you. You can beat this my friend. Many here have.😅