Hi Springforward
I dunno about others here but I confused abstinence for control a lot of times.
I thought that not drinking for however many days it was meant that I might be able to be a normal drinker now.
It never worked out like that.
I obsessed about drinking because I was an alcoholic - I'm not sure its necessary to go any deeper than that - at least not now.
It took a few months for me not to want to run to the bottle every time something upset my normal life, and it took a few months for my head to clear.
That was the time for deep thinking, not before IMO..
For me the solution was get sober and stay sober - simple and effective but not always easy.
Thats where the support in places like SR come into it
D