Originally Posted by
NYCDoglvr 
Alcoholics can't moderate. If they could, they wouldn't be alcoholics. How many times did I say "I'll have one or two drinks" and end up in a blackout? Years went by like that. The two big things hampering recovery are denial and rationalization.
Seems so simple, yet I went way past the point where I could even use denial. I dropped the denial and stuck with rationalization until I pushed it to the unbearable point.
It's rather fascinating really how long it takes for an alcoholic to really believe the truth, even when the truth is scary, embarrassing, painful and dangerous and when safety and peace reside in the refusal to drink.
I have lost all illusions associated with drink. I hope that happens to you also lpg, those fantasies keep that spark in there. be careful.