Hey Weekenders! Don't feel like I should be posting in this thread seeing as I am at rehab and no day is difficult to not pick up because I can't darn well do anything or go anywhere on my own so no access to alcohol. I think that is's part of the reason I have been angry for 3 days, at home I was choosing to resist, here my choice has been taken away from me and the rebel in me seems to have surfaced. I walked out of a session today as they wanted us to do a 20 minute presentation to a group of 25 people, and part of my reason for being here is social anxiety so there is no way in hell I am going to do this task, so I walked off and are now being stubborn, moody and isolating, just don't want to speak to anyone and don't want to talk about it grr....I am getting all the "it'll be good for you" comments but my entire being has shutdown on this idea and it's just not going to happen.
I can't even sit and zone out to listen to music when I am around the big ego's and the clients are bitching and moaning about each other as that is classed as "isolating". I guess it is in a way but is it not better to chill out and cheer myself up with a song that makes me happy than sit listening to bull$it that is of no use to my recovery? I dunno, I am grumpy and I miss my cat, my bed, cooking for myself and cool weather (bit of an understatement really lol). There is a launderette just down the road that I want to wash my clothes at but that is not allowed, I can give my clothes to their wash people who have burned, marked, stained and shrunk everyone elses clothes so no way I am handing over my clothes to be done by them. I don't have a plug in the sink in my room so can't even handwash....think you might be getting the picture that I am not a happy bunny. Anyway, just posted here as missing my weekenders and hope you are all doing well.
Calmself, like Venus I am fascinated by the Jain thang! Very interesting so will be learning more about that in my downtime here. Have a safe journey to India and be good xx