Steve,
Repeated congratulations on a month. Very common to relapse and test the waters on whether you "handle" drinking now. Agree with calmself, say you apologies. Next, WITHOUT blaming your wife for the evening's events, let her know that in order to quit drinking you need your home to be alcohol free for now. That does not need to be a permanent thing, but definitely a for now thing. You don't know when you are going to hear your addictive voice calling and I think when these things catch us by surprise, we are often not prepared to fight the fight. You need predictable right now. Friends, well that will take time. If you are not strong enough to be with them in drinking situations right now, you need to decline. And finally, you don't need a new religion to be among non drinkers. AA is every where and I bet there are a lot of people at any church who just don't drink! Good luck