Originally Posted by
16YearsDrunk 
I'm coming up 6 weeks sober. Feels great. But this time it feels completely different to any other attempt.
1 week into quitting I was severely depressed and anxiety along with rage and other common withdrawal side effects. After a crazy weekend that week I decided to see my doctor. He put me on 100mg sertraline. Been on them almost a month and have recently been upped to 150mg.
Tablets have finally started to work and I can feel a huge difference. The tiredness is kicking my backside at the moment, it's a struggle to even get out of bed, but my mental state is getting back to normal.
Looking back on who I was I can't believe it. I've lived so many years in a manic cycle of depression and anxiety that I forgot what it feels like to feel normal. I've forgot what it feels like to not be anxious. And here I am now in what feels like bliss. A happy balance.
Not once have I considered alcohol. The thought of drinking just doesn't interest me. It's as if I have no reason to drink anymore. There's no cravings, or no difficult periods of withdrawal. My girlfriend drank the weekend with her friend. There was alcohol around me and I had no desire to touch it. I made a cup of tea and sat on my laptop with my headphones on and enjoyed a documentary.
Which leads to me to question whether or not I was using alcohol to fix my depression and anxiety.
Maybe it's too early to say, but it's something I thought I'd make a note of just incase there's anyone else in a similar boat.
My resting heart rate has gone down to 69bpm and my BP is 127/78. I'm impressed with that given the abuse I've put my body through over the years. I also have no more edema. I believe that was a warning sign that my drinking was starting to affect other parts of my body,
I'm just over 6 weeks sober too. Also now healthily drinking tea rather than that poison.
I have also asked myself this question. Am I an alcoholic? I was certainly medicating with alcohol. I didn't drink because I wanted to get legless or because of the buzz, although I did sometimes. The idea of drinking more alcohol often repulsed me, but I drank to quieten down my anxious mind. SO I don't know the answer....but really, it doesn't matter.
What matters is, our relationship with alcohol was toxic, destructive and we are better off not drinking. That is all that matters. You can frame it however you want, but we were problem drinkers. I was drinking about 10 bottles of wine a week before I went on my final 10 day binge all day every day drinking which resulted in me going to A&E and accepting I had a problem and needed help.
So yes, I posed myself the same question regularly recently, but I don't know the answer. What I do know though, is that for me to live a healthy happy life, I do not want or need or can have alcohol in my life.