Originally Posted by
fini 
it is good to remember that we are not responsible for how others take these steps. it is not up to me to decide where someone else has harmed others or themselves, though i may have strong opinions about it, 3which i also don't need to always share.
True.... but it's still important to be able to explain Step 8 well, so that the person can figure out where they harmed someone or themselves.
in my own instance, for example, i made some financial amend to my employer because i had used a few days sick time when i simply hadn't wanted to go in, and my sponsor person really felt there was no need to (we still disagree about that to this day)
I had a sort of similar experience, and my sponsor also said there was no amends. It was my depression/anxiety that caused me to not only be somewhat ineffective at work, but to often come in late to work because I couldn't get out of bed. I wasn't drinking at the time, except at an occasional weekend social event, and even then I only drank in excess a handful of times over a few years time. I wasn't alcoholic yet.
But I still felt like I needed to make some sort of amends. I ended up trying to contact my boss's boss, but was unsuccessful because she's retired now and so I guess she doesn't care. I have no idea to this day if she thought my behavior was on purpose, if she thought I was crazy, or if she realized I was suffering from depression and anxiety.
My amends to the universe I guess is to try to treat my depression anxiety and alcoholism, so that it stops effecting others.
and then there are other examples of me having to ultimately decide and know for myself who i had harmed.
True. Only we can really know the answer ourselves.
'guiding' is such an interesting, rich position to be in....but also includes agency for the other.
Again that is true. But where it gets difficult is when you have a sponsor that says if you don't agree on her opinion regarding an amends, then you are being manipulative, controlling, taking your will back, doing recovery your way, etc., etc. That's why I like to speak with my therapist about amends issues.
As always, your input, Fini, is appreciated.