Originally Posted by
Tommyh 
I can`t make amends until I change my behaviour
harms to others means harms to others ,regardless of being drunk or sober
a lot of my harms came from my sex inventory,question 4 (whom did we harm?)will get her started,if she needs a jump start.
financial harms(unpaid bills?)
stole something?then go fix it
a few examples but
she can always start with the family first
she can pray and see what God gives her to put on the list
it isn`t up to me as to what goes on my list,it is up to God
my job is to pray and make the list first
I grew up in a family where amends were continuously made but the behavior never changed.
When I got sober the last thing my wife wanted to hear was I had quit. The same with friends and co-workers.
Either I stopped or got my drinking under control or they were gone.
Nobody was interested in apologizes/excuses until I changed my behavior.
About amends: A few years back I ran across a member who went out after 23 years. I hadn't seen him in years because he moved to another State but he was in town on business. Unfortunately, he had been drinking cough syrup at nightly along with non-alcohol beer.
This fellow said his current sponsor told him he slipped because he hadn't made all the necessary amends. (Technically he didn't actually slip because he hadn't drank alcohol but think it wise he restart his sobriety date)
So he racked his brain thinking of things like he still owed money to somebody in Nevada where he worked p/t in his youth.
I was glad to see him speaking on a Sunday night but thought his stressing unfulfilled amends for his behavior was a cop out.
My take was after moving he drifted away from meetings and/or working the program (prayers, reading, visiting sites such as this message board .)
And if this were to happen again he may find myself sucking on a bottle of Robitussin once more.