Harming ourselves vs Harming others
I'm taking one of my sponsees through steps 8 and 9. She's struggling with it, because most of her self-seeking was internal and not external. She really "harmed" herself with her resentments, versus harming others.
Her harms to others while alcoholic are very apparent, but she doesn't have many. Yet she has a lot of resentments. Because of that, I think her list of harms also includes a lot of things that I'm not sure are actual harms. How can I help guide her with this?
Do we include harms we did when we weren't drinking, but perhaps caused harms because of depression, anxiety, or stress, without meaning to?
Please don't tell me to do what my sponsor did for me, because I was not properly sponsored or guided during Steps 8 and 9.