Originally Posted by Gottalife

Alcoholics can and do recover. That means that not only do they stop drinking, but they learn or grow back into the main stream of life, and they stop the harmful behaviours of their drinking days. Our big book is very clear, if an alcoholic continues to harm others, he/she won't stay sober, and for us, not being able to stay sober is a virtual death sentence.

I can refer to my own track record. Prior to getting sober I had several convictions for offences of violence and dishonesty. I had some push shovy moments with girlfriends who all left, I behaved very badly towards the women in my life to such an extent that for the last two years of my drinking, no self respecting woman would have anything to do with me.

Since I worked the steps and had the "complete psychic change"promised, not a single conviction or offence in 38 years. I am on good terms with those exes I could find in the amends process, was married for twenty years until an illness took my wife. Never raised a hand to her, and for the most part, managed to live up to my ideals in that relationship. The part I didn't do well at was the occasional bit of flirting which I now realise was the wrong thing for me to do. I was however faithful in all other respects and have been able to maintain that standard in my new relationships.

We do get better, we do change, if we do the work, if we are honest and if our motives are thoroughly good. I guess you will have to stand back and see if that is how it is with your man.