911 my boyfriend is a week sober
Hi All,
Just wondering if I can get some feedback. I am not new to loving an Alcoholic, albeit it’s been years. I have been dating a wonderful man who is a high functioning A. We live in the wine country and so it is definitely part of our NorCal culture. Wine that is. We naturally had instant chemistry, we are both the same age, have similar interests and I sort of knew he was the one for me pretty quickly. His drinking seemed normal at first. We’d have wine with dinner, never an issue or a hangover. He’s never had a DUI, or been fired for drinking, or had to end a relationship because of it. 5-6 mos in, it was winter and we had a couple of bad arguments. He was a belligerent, and I was beginning to see a trend. He said he felt he needed to drink less coffee, he quit Red Bull’s and said that a dark red wine probably didn’t mix well with his system. I said ok, sounds reasonable. He cut way back on all. A few months later and a couple of more arguments, and now I definitely know there could be an issue because every time we argue, he had had a few. The last two arguments ended with him grabbing my arm and bruising it and the last one was he grabbed my shirt when I tried to leave his house. I broke it off the day. He went drinking the next night and then without me knowing went to an AA meeting the morning after that. He’s been to several meetings and told me that 5 years ago he had wanted to test himself and didn’t drink for a year and had gone to AA. He said he actually really enjoyed it. But thought he could control it and went back to the wine. He now says loosing me was his bottom as he had been planning to propose soon. He said he is committed to not drinking and knows he needs to earn my trust back. He has 100% owned this as him.
I miss him like crazy. I’m just agonizing over whether to give this AA and new walk in sobriety a chance, knowing he could relapse at any time during our life together (then again maybe not). Or. Break it off now.
Currently we are keeping the lines of communication open his hope is to earn my trust back. I’m just torn.