I just now saw this post. You were not rambling at all. It was a beautiful post and I appreciate being able to read it. I still have my mom. She's an amazing and loving mother. She's not addicted to anything but all four of her children have struggled with addictions our entire lives. She doesn't understand it but she tries so hard to. She lives only an hour and a half away from me but due to work and my car not always being reliable, I don't see her much. I usually just call her on mother's day. I have a vacation coming up soon and I'm going to stay with her for a few days. I will be sober and will do my best to just make her happy. Thank you for sharing.