Katzen

Please everyone do something special for your mother!

My mother passed away about 15 years ago and last Saturday I bought a card for my husband’s mom and reading the cards and walking around the store I felt very emotional and upset thinking about how I didn’t appreciate my mother more when she was alive and I don’t think I ever told her that I loved her until she was dying (our family wasn’t the type to say “I love you”). And on Mother’s Day my dad would buy her a card and I would scribble my signature and gifts he would say was from both of us. Then when I grew up I’d send her flowers and have them put on a card something simple like “Happy Mother’s Day”. I really wish I had done more.

I think that’s the reason after a year of mostly being sober (I did have a glass of champagne on New Years and wine on Valentine’s Day.... but didn’t drink to excess and had zero desire to). But then walking around the store with the card in the top of my cart passing by the wine I put 2 bottles in my cart... regretted it when I got home so hid them from my husband. Then a few hours later for some dumb reason I chugged them both in about a minute I think because I didn’t want my husband to find out I bought them... but don’t know what I was thinking I know I can’t handle that much all at once. And of course my husband knew, I was obviously drunk, reeked of wine, and was vomiting all weekend and went to the ER on Monday for fluids since I still couldn’t keep anything down.

But thinking about how stupid I was I now realize that was a horrible thing to do and my mother would be ashamed if she looked down from heaven and saw what I saw in the mirror... red eyes, vomit on the front of my shirt, looking a disheveled mess and being smelly from not showering for days.

So please everyone... appreciate your mom if she’s still alive, give her a special gift that will be meaningful to her (it doesn’t have to be something expensive... if she likes to cook maybe a cookbook, she’ll think of you every time she uses it ). And don’t just sign a card, write something in it from your heart. I really wish I had done those things when my mom was alive... she deserved it.

And if you’re still drinking at least try to stay sober all of Sunday in honor of your mother. Maybe Sunday can be day one of your sobriety, your mom would be proud.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there.

(Apologies if this sounds rambling and odd... no I haven’t been drinking, but haven’t been able to sleep and up for around 30 hours now).

Rar

I hope you're feeling better today Katzen. I have the same feelings when I read Mother's Day cards. My mother passed away 29 years ago and to this day, it's still difficult for me to read them.. When my husband's mother was still alive, he had to purchase his own card.

Hang in there. Good for you stopping the drink.

Stubbs16

Nice post . Its a great reminder to cherish and respect our Moms...Dads too! My Mom is a huge part of my life. Just turned 83 in April. Love her very much. Would be lost without her. And yes, I WILL be sober tomorrow. She knows of my issues, and I know it upsets her. So, being sober and present will be a gift in itself, to her, any myself as well!

AnvilheadII

also a good time to remember to BE a good mom......

Dee74

D

Clarity51

I just now saw this post. You were not rambling at all. It was a beautiful post and I appreciate being able to read it. I still have my mom. She's an amazing and loving mother. She's not addicted to anything but all four of her children have struggled with addictions our entire lives. She doesn't understand it but she tries so hard to. She lives only an hour and a half away from me but due to work and my car not always being reliable, I don't see her much. I usually just call her on mother's day. I have a vacation coming up soon and I'm going to stay with her for a few days. I will be sober and will do my best to just make her happy. Thank you for sharing.