God, I'm so grateful my bf stayed with me throughout my alcoholism. Your post brought back feelings of shame from the person I was drinking, very similar to your gf. Granted he abused alcohol as well, but he didn't turn into a monster like me. It's very hard to see when you're in the midst of the storm. You see yourself, your needs, everyone's inability to meet your needs. You see depression and sadness and inability to cope with life. It's hard. I feel for her and you. No-one chooses to be an alcoholic. No-one wakes up with that goal in mind. I hope she gets help. Not saying you should be the one to stay with her through it. Im just glad my bf stuck with me for 6 years of my madness.