The situation sounds familiar, but I was the drinker in denial.
I was "happy" with my lifestyle. I had a gorgeous girl who looked after me, and I had all the booze in the world to drink.
What more did I need?
Did I notice the irrational behaviour? the anger issues,? the broken furniture,? the constant yelling? the constant crying from her side? Nope ofcourse not, I was a man and I deserved to have a drink after my hard day and that's all I saw, infact in my alcoholic logic she was the irrational moody one.
She tried to stop me, and it worked at times but her impatience, threats and lessons got me to drink even more.
I only stopped when I lost it all and it finally clicked in my head.
Also, An alcoholic wants to be looked after so he /she can drink even more, and then get defensive once you threaten to take the booze away. Unfortunately your not helping her by helping. The alcoholic inside her and all of us is feeding of your care.