Thanks everyone taking alot of time to read and re read all your messages.
I'm thinking I probably feel this way as I'm scared I'm going to be alone, iv been feeling lonely, like I'm missing out, like I'm not having as much fun as everyone else. But for other people drinking is fun but for me it's not and I can't do it. It could mean death for me, guess I'm kind of resentful too. I dont want to feel bitter about it.
My partner is freaking out I told him this morning what i was thinking he doesn't want me to go on Saturday, the last big concert I had, I had to miss too but that was because I was too drunk. Says alot. It's Beyonce I'm going to see and I adore her but if I'm not feeling okay about it tomorrow I'm not going to go, it's not worth a relapse.
The person from my group has messaged me and is very supportive, glad I reached out.
It's hard doing this but I'm realising it's harder doing it alone. Thanks for all your support and sound advice it's gave me some clarity.