Hi Lpg,
It's damn hard this quitting thing isn't it. I would be impossible to calculate the number of times I've tried to get on top of things, just to feel in bits because I couldn't cope with others enjoying themselves around me.
I sometimes wonder if it's the 'fear of missing out' principle. I have short term memory reflex where I just remember the positive things, and not the carnage that's gone with it. Sort of Cherry Picking ?
I went to another AA meeting last night, and just being there felt like a huge relief. Nothing is solved, and I'm still not sure it's for me, but the fear build up abated.
You can do this !!
Best Regards - Johnnie.