Originally Posted by Gillygem

Hi I'm new here, I'm an alcoholic and on my second day sober. I'm 63 and have a long and painful relationship with boze. I went into a rehab in 2009 and stayed sober for nearly 5 years. I didn't do anything for my recovery and sot was inevitable that I would start to think that I could now drink and stay in control. Well 3 years later and I'm in a mess. I drink secretly every night when I go to bed and drink gin and a little soda until I fall asleep. It's a lot of gin in about one hour. I also drink when out with friends but can keep it in control then because, of my secret stash at home. I feel really unwell and alone that's, why I'm here. I have got so used to alcohol getting me to sleep and that's one of the biggest problems when trying to stop. Also a little voice in my head keeps saying where will you get your enjoyment and relaxation from if you give up booze. It's like I'm two people one wanting to break the chains that alcohol has me in. Then the other me thinking its a Terrible idea that I enjoy it! I guess that's addiction. Well I have managed one night sober before but this time I'm determined to make it through a second night. Thanks Gillygem