From my experience, both personal and with other addicts, addiction is progressive. Period. It will get worse, quickly or slowly, depending on the person. The consequences will get worse over time. When I first began quitting about 14 years ago I had never had a detox, or a bender or really anything negative. Only the realization that I was an alcoholic and that that was 'bad'. I wish I had listened to all the people in AA who said, "You haven't had (fill in the blank) happen YET". Oh my, they were so right. And I haven't had legal problems YET (which is often what others see as 'bottom') so I have that to look forward to. I do know for sure that as long as I'm breathing there are still more YETs to come. And I don't want to go there. BUT I'm a stubborn, somewhat arrogant, person. I had to see for myself just how bad it could get. It takes what it takes I guess.
So what I read in your post is a lot of myself. Yeah, I'm an alcoholic and that is 'bad' and not 'normal'. It's really just I like getting drunk, I'm a party person. I mean, how can I have fun without it? I mean, what will I do? I mean, how does one date or have sex without booze? Everyone does it, its every where. What about work functions, sports, concerts, holidays.......
and on and on. Until life gets so bad that quitting is the only option and figuring life out without alcohol is the only choice. That or die or kill someone.
It's all just a bunch of hoodie really. Everything in life can be done without alcohol. Its a beverage, not a hobby, or a friend or a God. Not easy for sure. But totally doable. And learning from folks that have done it is a great way to get there.
Bars, girls? I have never had a meaningful relationship with anyone I met in a bar. Yeah, I've 'dated' them for a while, but the real deal, nope. I recommend meetups. All kinds of different stuff to join. Volunteering for stuff like the national forest service, charities that clean up parks and rivers. Activities that at least don't involve drinking while you're involved in the activity.
There are some serious red flags in your post (nothing I haven't done myself so no judgment). If you're alcoholic, it will get worse. The sooner you accept that, the better off you'll be.