Thank you all for the support and encouragement. I'm still trying to learn how to navigate through this divorce. I did visit my local domestic abuse center (30 mins) away from where I live. I have to go back on Thursday for counseling session for domestic violence. I'm looking forward to it and getting feedback from the counselor on how I can go about moving forward in this difficult situations.
On Saturday night: I received another drunken phone call from my STBAXH. He called around 8pm drunk. Asking where me and the boys were I told him we were out and about. He told me why didn't I invite him to come along with us (I was thinking "what the heck"). I told him that I'm not going to go out of my way to invite him go anywhere with us. He asked what time we were going to go home I told him I don't know. He told me he "wished he could be with us." I got off the phone with him. He then called about 20 mins later. I missed the call so I called back and phone went straight to voicemail. My guess "night time visitor" was there (rolled eyes). He came to pick up the boys the next morning at 9am, his regular time. I didn't mention a word about the phone conversation the night before. He didn't appear to be intoxicated but he did have sun glasses covering his eyes. I just acted nonchalant gave the boys a kiss and told them I would pick them up in a few hours. .
I'm learning how to bite my tongue and not let what he does get to me. More than anything I feel sorry for him. I know I shouldn't because he has and still does so many bad things. I'm learning to continue on with my life despite his attempts and antics to reel me back into his alcoholic world. As hard as a time I'm having in coping with this all. I know he is the one who is truly suffering the most but I know there is nothing I can do the help him.