Originally Posted by
IWalkTheLine 
I have a doctor's appointment coming up dee but now sure I want everyone to know, don't know what sort of help he will give. I can't do meetings, they would be too hard to hide, I'm not the best liar
You need to speak with your doctor. It's confidential, and he will not tell anybody else. That's the first step and they can offer you help i.e. medications and/or treatment.
I tried to lie and hide my addiction to alcohol from friends and family. I even told my doctor I rarely drank ... not sure he believed me. When I finally opened up it felt like a huge burden was off my shoulder and I found I had options and places to turn to.
Good luck on your recovery.