Please don’t feel stupid. What we want to believe and the reality we have to believe are sadly different. We want our family whole. We want our spouses whole too. What we have are broken families and broken spouses. If we could wave a magic wand and fix it all we would but sadly we can’t. There’s a lot to learn here. I’ve learned my stbxah is a stranger, he’s not the man I married. For so long I thought he would snap out of this ******** phase he’s in, he proved me wrong. While he tells me he loves me, begs for an open line of communication, makes excuses to text me and says he’ll always have my back, he’s still the same POS I left. His actions speak louder than any words he’s ever said. I’ve asked or said so many times that I can’t count, how could you do this to us, to our family, to yourself, and to me. He’s never given an answer and I know that’s because he can’t. Over time I’ve realized he doesn’t know me anymore either. I’m not that same desperate to repair and save him person. I’m now in a fight for my life, my happiness and our children’s life and happiness. His family has been MIA since **** hit the fan, since he was exposed for who he is they stopped speaking to our children. Our children are adults too. I don’t need to have contact w this family but one of them could ask our kids how they are. One of them could speak up and tell him how they feel but this is the most passive family I’ve ever met. Forever I wondered if I was fighting alone to save him. What I’ve realized is that’s true. So when it comes to your children you do what’s best for them and you. Listen to your gut. As others said, fight for supervised visits. It’s best to use caution.