Thank you all.
I did end up drinking Monday night :-(
My husband apologized for "letting" me drink, and for drinking with me.
I told him not to apologize, it was my decision to drink and nobody/nothing was going to stop me from doing it.
I just knew I was going to drink.
I called in sick to work on Tuesday and had a hungover mental breakdown at home.
I kept asking out loud "why? why? WHY? Why did I drink??? I KNOW better!! I KNOW what it does to me, I can't stand feeling this way, I don't EVER want to feel like this again........ "
I was feeling guilty about missing work and then something occurred to me. This is WAY bigger than just worrying about missing work.
I'm losing myself. Losing my soul. To alcohol.
I watched some very inspiring Youtube videos while I was at home (Thank you Behappy!) and I finally made an appointment with an addiction counselor.
I feel like this time, something actually "clicked".
Drinking is just not an option for me anymore. Ever.
Thank you for listening
