Nata1980
Thank you! I totally agree. It should be my rock bottom. The sad thing is i have started to feel numb about his addiction and relapses a long time ago. It is very difficult to see things the way they are when you live them. But to the people outside, especially people who don't know us personally, they tell you exactly what they think of the situation.
I don't see my husband as the same man I married 11 years ago. That's the thing. And its the betrayal that really made me realize it.
I assumed you are divorced now? How has life been going for you? Do you have kids?
Originally Posted by
Nata1980 
Hugs to you - this sounds like a nightmare. I wish healing and peace to you, your little ones and your addict as well.
Likewise, cheating was what hurt the most in case with XAH. In retrospect, I realize that cheating was the least of our issues and I am even grateful for its facilitating my hitting the rock bottom and getting away from the toxic environment.
It does sound scary not to have spousal support to raise children, but I realized I never really had it to begin with and was not going to deal with uncertainty of the future with mentally unreliable scary addict