Welcome Eleanor. It is great to have you here.
There is some great advice here already. You are not alone. I relate completely. Somewhere in my mid to late twenties, drinking went from a social activity to something I did alone for no other purpose than to get as drunk as possible. Over the past eight years I have had many slips, but have spent much more time sober than not. Drinking might seem like an old friend but there is nothing better than waking up sober. I never regret saying no to drinking.