Good evening fine people! Day 11 for me is drawing to a close here in the Old South. I had a counseling session today and it felt great to share everything I've learned the past two weeks with her. I'll be going just about every week for now which will only be helpful. She told me something interesting - that the physical craving for alcohol is our dopamine centers in our brains 'remembering' that we used to give it a jolt of dopamine with booze. It's learned to expect that and has to return back to normal when we sober up and remove that input. The longer we can go without alcohol, the fewer cravings we'll have as the dopamine centers in the brain re-learn normal functioning. I hope that makes sense. We're not just craving booze because we miss it or because we're weak - there's a physiological process going on that will improve with time. More reason not to relapse if at all possible.
Willow, my thoughts and prayers are with you in this rough time for you. Stay strong and keep checking back here whenever you can. Let this be an anchor for you as you try to deal with everything. We will be here. However down you might get, understand that alcohol will only make things more difficult. You'll be more emotional and depressed. Life is going to smack us in the face sometimes and it's tough, but don't make it worse with booze. Stay strong!!!!
Manta, you've had a much more positive tone in your words recently and that is really great to see. Part of that is definitely your body and brain rewarding you for not drinking by being less prone to depression. I hear myself in some of your older negative toned posts. I get down on myself a lot too and it's just a waste of time and energy. You are a very intelligent, caring person with a lot more going than you think sometimes. Think about what you are doing right now and the monumental decision you have made to straighten your life out and defeat your addiction - and the courage it takes to do that. You are no slouch so hold your head up high and be proud to be exactly who you are.
To all of you great people here, we are all nearly another day sober. Every single successful day forward in recovery is a huge accomplishment. I'm so glad you all are here and have made the same decision for your life that I have. It feels so great, doesn't it? I'm going call it a day soon. With the kids and getting up at 6 a.m. every single day of the year, we don't stay up late like we used to. Good night all.
Sorry for another War-and-Peace posting. I think it has something to do with being bipolar (and moderately hypomanic right now). We seem to write more than most others. We can't help it. We're naturally compulsive.
