Hi Sagcitrine and so glad you found Soberrecovery. Also so sad you have need to find us. Ugh.
Your title was a wonderful understatement!!!! It is so so so damn hard to walk away from these people. No matter how bad it is and how obvious the choice is, it just sucks beyond anything. The grieving and healing takes time and usually more time than anyone wants it to take.
I'm happy to hear you have some support. I never went the alanon route but I know it has been a godsend for many.
Let us know how you are getting on.