Thankful, nice of you to write about aging as I've wondered the same, and you're right, it helps to share. My drinking was never at issue before, when I was working a public sector job and had on-call status for most every weekend in my jurisdiction. It held me accountable and I was always trustworthy enough I never tested the water except while away on vacations I might have gotten carried away with my drinking. My children being around was another factor, being someone they could be proud of certainly weighed in. So my use and abuse of alcohol ramped up after retirement.
A romance rekindled from 35 years ago and that partner drinks a lot. I found myself right beside him having a toddy every weekend, then my consumption and tolerance grew. I gradually let go of everything I was interested in - I can't blame it on anyone other than myself and how I let alcohol take over my life. I've isolated terribly. I've been an embarrassment to myself and my family and the friends who are left in the area. I am gradually regenerating a new me. I go to the gym 4-5 days a week, I'm taking some classes at the college for the fun of it.
Getting old isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've taken several falls from my blackouts which were scary. Broke my wrist, had several black eyes. Reached the point of done while on vacation in Mexico after I'd wandered off on a walk and security brought me back to my room. How far did I want to make my bottom? I think an old drunk woman is probably the most pathetic sight to see. Hope to never be that again.