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Old 05-22-2018, 10:35 AM
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aging

I've been a drinker all my adult life and it was never a problem. I ran marathons and was into my career and raised kids with my wife. I really was just a social drinker, and sure I may have drank more than some other people but it was pretty much normal partying.

In the past 6 or so years I've gotten into it more, the kids are out of the house, the career is just a job, there's time and space to be filled up. I've found myself drinking for days or weeks in a row, starting in the late afternoon/evening but downing more and more as the binge wears on. At some point I wake up so depressed and sick feeling I stop for awhile, like a week at most. Then I head down binge street yet again.

I've read the largest group of surfacing alcoholics are seniors. It would seem it's because drinking is easy, relatively cheap, and makes the mundane more interesting. I have hobbies and still work out quite a bit, but they aren't connected to anything, so then there's this gap.

I see the general support and story trading, and it is constructive and helpful. I'm wondering if there are other seniors or boomers that want to relate how they cope with the fourth quarter of life and keeping discipline. Thanks.
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Old 05-22-2018, 10:59 AM
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Hi Thankful. Welcome to SR. I'm 68 and have been retired a few years. I started drinking more heavily into the last couple of years of my career, though it was manageable then. When I retired I had more time on my hands. I live in a retirement community where every recreational opportunity is available to me. However, as my drinking escalated, I found I was foregoing my activities in order to drink. I became isolated. I preferred drinking to doing any of those things. I have learned that I cannot moderate. I no longer drink. I have found (in my community anyway), that alcohol is a huge part of socializing. There are porch parties every night and many start in the afternoon. I haven't been to any yet. In addition to the many activities offered here, many folks here have chosen to drink heavily and frequently during the 4th quarter of their lives. I suspect they are normies - I am not. I'm now enjoying some of the activities that I wasn't participating in, golfing more, trying to exercise more, volunteering more and perhaps most importantly, trying to be more involved with people rather than being self centered with the drink.

Do you want to quit drinking? If so, you've come to a great place.
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Old 05-22-2018, 11:21 AM
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For me, I try to take it one day at a time and not worry about the future or fret over the past.
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Old 05-22-2018, 11:44 AM
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Originally Posted by thankful61 View Post
I see the general support and story trading, and it is constructive and helpful. I'm wondering if there are other seniors or boomers that want to relate how they cope with the fourth quarter of life and keeping discipline. Thanks.
I too have always worked out, even while drinking heavily. Work hard, play hard mentality has always been our gen's philosophy. Problem was...as my alcoholism progressed, it became harder and harder to keep up with my healthy lifestyle. Hangovers became acute, keeping me down for days. And when I did workout, I couldn't push it like I did when I was younger. Discipline is SO much easier once alcohol has been taken out of the equation. Today I workout 5-6 days per week, eat healthy and feel (and look) like myself again...not to mention how much more productive I have become.

CT
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Old 05-22-2018, 01:23 PM
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Yeah, getting older and having fewer responsibilities and more time on your hands can make it difficult to not drink. I'll turn 68 in a few months. I am retired but still work part-time, partially to keep me from sitting around my apartment and drink all day. I also work out a lot and that helps a lot. Staying busy is very important, but no matter how busy your are, it can't replace working full time every day. I read somewhere where both drinking and drug abuse is a major problem for retired people. Their family is grown up and gone, and many friends have passed away. Tough spot to be in. I kinda envy older people that have a big, close family to do stuff with. I knew when my mother passed away, I was in trouble. Anyway, just wanted to post and let people out there in this situation they are not alone. John
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Old 05-22-2018, 01:27 PM
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Just wanted to add that for any young people reading this thread, the lesson learned is to stay close to your family and friends. If you don't down the road, you'll wish you did. Not fun being alone. John
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Old 05-22-2018, 02:22 PM
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This is a little off topic but this thread makes me wonder why as a society we do this to people who have so much to offer. Folks in their 60s are YOUNG. And they have wisdom aplenty.

I was born in a country where the current Prime Minister is 92 years old. And he's setting a cracking pace.

What's your passion? How can you change the world, starting from where you are? If you could pretend for 10 minutes that you were in your 20s, starting out, what would you choose to do? Why don't you do a bit of that, whatever it is.

This idea that we are born to slave away for 40 years of our life, then hoof off to pasture and while away the years till death claims us. Ugh! I'm 44 and I plan never to retire. I'm just getting started on my life's passion now I've ditched the booze. My profession is in dire need of change and I'm starting there.

I bet you have untold skills and knowledge to impart to a world in desperate need. I hope you find an opportunity to do it! And stop wasting time drinking ...
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Old 05-22-2018, 02:31 PM
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Thankful, nice of you to write about aging as I've wondered the same, and you're right, it helps to share. My drinking was never at issue before, when I was working a public sector job and had on-call status for most every weekend in my jurisdiction. It held me accountable and I was always trustworthy enough I never tested the water except while away on vacations I might have gotten carried away with my drinking. My children being around was another factor, being someone they could be proud of certainly weighed in. So my use and abuse of alcohol ramped up after retirement.

A romance rekindled from 35 years ago and that partner drinks a lot. I found myself right beside him having a toddy every weekend, then my consumption and tolerance grew. I gradually let go of everything I was interested in - I can't blame it on anyone other than myself and how I let alcohol take over my life. I've isolated terribly. I've been an embarrassment to myself and my family and the friends who are left in the area. I am gradually regenerating a new me. I go to the gym 4-5 days a week, I'm taking some classes at the college for the fun of it.

Getting old isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've taken several falls from my blackouts which were scary. Broke my wrist, had several black eyes. Reached the point of done while on vacation in Mexico after I'd wandered off on a walk and security brought me back to my room. How far did I want to make my bottom? I think an old drunk woman is probably the most pathetic sight to see. Hope to never be that again.
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Old 05-22-2018, 02:57 PM
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I relapsed at 50 after being sober for pretty much all of my adult life. One of the things that pushed me towards sobriety again was suffering from the progression of my drinking and the fact that I would soon be retiring at 55.

I just knew without a doubt that all that time on my hands would be disastrous because there'd no longer be a job/reason for me to try and keep my drinking somewhat under control (or at least the illusion of control). That and the increased risk of stroke and other health issues were the motivation I needed to get serious.

Because of that, I finally went back to AA and was able to successfully stop shortly after my retirement. I now spend my time doing pretty much whatever I want--working in my yard, more time to tend to household chores in a relaxed manner instead of rushing to get them done, riding my bike and practicing yoga, playing video games, reading, listening to music and programs that interest me, etc. I'm never bored. I'm so grateful I can wake up everyday and enjoy my retirement instead of being sick from hangovers and recovering from the latest binge.
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Old 05-22-2018, 03:07 PM
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This is an interesting thread. Thank you for posting, thankful.
I wonder, too, if alcohol drinking later in life is connected to our aging joints.
I say this because we visited some friends a couple of years ago, and I was struck by how much one of them drank.
Fast forward to present: we saw them again and I was struck anew by how much one of them WASN’T drinking.
The difference? She had had a much needed hip replacement.
Just a thought.
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