My last bender lasted 4 years. It was only supposed to last a week. One lousy week. All my work over the course of a year and I blew it all on a week long bender. So.......take 4 years minus a week and everyday in between that and my first day sober March 1st 2016. That's how many failed attempts I had.
So that's 1,453 failed attempts. Because I tried to quit every day....
That's why I know there's still hope for you.
You have to want to be sober more than you want to be drunk and apply it no matter what. Bottom line above all else.
One day at a time.
Slowly, you'll put more and more days together and this toxic haze of constant craving will disappear. It takes time though. You've gotta give your brain a fair shot at getting some time between you and that drink. That's key.
Stop thinking..
Stop rationalizing...
Stop feeling bad.....
Just keep things simple. Take away anything that reminds you of alcohol. TV, music, whatever....you need to distance yourself away from your triggers.
This is where a plan is effective.
For me it was the ER, then ICU and then rehab for a few months then IOP and then therapy. That gave me the best shot.
You know plenty of ways that don't work.
You only need to find one that does.
Listen to the people here and hang in there. I truely hope this is your last day 1.
We all know how desperately you want this...you just need to show up.