Notices

Day 1.

Old 05-21-2018, 06:19 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Day 1.

That’s all. Day 1. I hope it’s my last Day 1.
Sohard is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 06:21 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,416
There's no doubt that it can be, Sohard. You seem very ready - let's do it.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 06:23 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,046
don't hope SoHard - you can make it so.

Look at what happened - think about what else you might have done. Rejig whatever your recovery plan is.

Move forward

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 06:28 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
I was going to say what Dee said: don't hope, make it so.
least is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 06:49 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Thank you so much everybody. Reading your words of support almost makes me want to cry. Sometimes I feel like I’m so alone in this war. It feels like I’m winning a battle, then losing a battle, then winning a battle, etc. I just want the war to be over. I haven’t raised the flag and given up yet, but I’m just sick of the war going on. Peace would be so nice.
Sohard is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 06:53 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Vietnam Vet
 
BDTL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Georgia
Posts: 421
Visions of a clear mind and strong body will keep those days rolling. You got this!
BDTL is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 07:22 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,241
Sohard,
there is no succeeding without keeping going. so it's great you are here, keeping going.
you might consider changing your approach?
fini is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 07:28 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Dee hit the nail on the head Sohard - don't hope: Make it happen. You get to choose how today ends up - and you've made the right choices before. What do you think you could do differently today so that it is truly your last day 1? Maybe write a list down on a sheet of paper - title it "the things I will do today so I don't drink".
ScottFromWI is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 07:30 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
How many?

I would love to hear how many quit attempts others of you had before you succeeded. I was doing great for 4 1/2 months, messed up, and I’ve had multiple mess ups since then. It seems like it’s easier and easier to mess up after the first mess up. At this point, I borderline feel hopeless. Like even if I succeed for two weeks, a mess up is around the corner and no one would be surprised. I guess I’m just hoping to hear that someone else messed up a bunch of times and then finally made it to secure ground.
Sohard is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 07:31 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Dee hit the nail on the head Sohard - don't hope: Make it happen. You get to choose how today ends up - and you've made the right choices before. What do you think you could do differently today so that it is truly your last day 1? Maybe write a list down on a sheet of paper - title it "the things I will do today so I don't drink".
Okay Scott. I’ll start the list first thing in the morning. I just want to make it through day two so then the ball is rolling.
Sohard is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 07:36 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Sohard View Post
Okay Scott. I’ll start the list first thing in the morning. I just want to make it through day two so then the ball is rolling.
What's stopping you from doing it now? We are masters of procrastination ( addicts ) when it comes to doing things that our addiction does not like, right?
ScottFromWI is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 07:55 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,046
Originally Posted by Sohard View Post
I would love to hear how many quit attempts others of you had before you succeeded. I was doing great for 4 1/2 months, messed up, and I’ve had multiple mess ups since then. It seems like it’s easier and easier to mess up after the first mess up. At this point, I borderline feel hopeless. Like even if I succeed for two weeks, a mess up is around the corner and no one would be surprised. I guess I’m just hoping to hear that someone else messed up a bunch of times and then finally made it to secure ground.
I tried to quit every week for 25 years.

Eventually I got to the point I was willing to make the changes necessary for me to stay sober for good.

Never give up

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 08:24 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 83
I don't think most of us could count the number of Day 1's. At least I couldn't.

Really doesn't matter if it's the first or the millionth I guess.....today is all any of us have.

Sometimes a mantra can be calming. I used to say "everyday, in every way, I keep getting better and better" and I truly felt it and meant it.

Good wishes and hugs from a virtual team member
rjyerkes is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 08:25 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
quat
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,819
I stopped drinking countless times for various durations. I stopped to end all the negative consequences that were inevitable by continuing. Financial, marital, employment, health and safety all the material aspects that were in jeopardy. And also to stem the damage I could tell I was doing to my spiritual and mental wellbeing.
When I’d have more booze it only reinforced the idea that I wasn’t really worthy of being free of the consequences, and the fog of boozing again dulled the spiritual hit.
I’ve only ever Quit once , I did to finally free myself of the consequences of continuing to indulge the desire but also despite the desire. I had always returned after stopping because I hadn’t shed or killed Drunk Me , the Me that loved the buzz and welcomed the oblivion, the Me that always agreed that just one more time or stop again real soon were actually operable goals. They may even have been , except that fog rolls in and stopping again fades futher into the distance.
When I Quit and decided to let Drunk Me die , I was deciding that along with being free of all the negative consequences I was at the same time deciding to never again feel the buzz and shun the oblivion.
Two seconds before making a BP I’d have never believed how much “I” prefer being teetotaler Me , and how much that preference continually deepens and grows the further from my Last drink I am.
Don’t ever stop trying , but you only quit once and I know You can , even if you don’t believe it yet.
You can do this, Rootin for ya
dwtbd is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 08:30 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
BullDog777's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
My last bender lasted 4 years. It was only supposed to last a week. One lousy week. All my work over the course of a year and I blew it all on a week long bender. So.......take 4 years minus a week and everyday in between that and my first day sober March 1st 2016. That's how many failed attempts I had.

So that's 1,453 failed attempts. Because I tried to quit every day....

That's why I know there's still hope for you.

You have to want to be sober more than you want to be drunk and apply it no matter what. Bottom line above all else.

One day at a time.

Slowly, you'll put more and more days together and this toxic haze of constant craving will disappear. It takes time though. You've gotta give your brain a fair shot at getting some time between you and that drink. That's key.

Stop thinking..
Stop rationalizing...
Stop feeling bad.....

Just keep things simple. Take away anything that reminds you of alcohol. TV, music, whatever....you need to distance yourself away from your triggers.


This is where a plan is effective.

For me it was the ER, then ICU and then rehab for a few months then IOP and then therapy. That gave me the best shot.

You know plenty of ways that don't work.

You only need to find one that does.

Listen to the people here and hang in there. I truely hope this is your last day 1.

We all know how desperately you want this...you just need to show up.
BullDog777 is offline  
Old 05-21-2018, 08:49 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Gal220's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 557
I echo what others have said: it doesn't matter if this is your 1st or 100th "Day 1," you only have to worry about today. You can't change yesterday, and tomorrow doesn't exist. Waiting for the other shoe to drop is fatalistic and a self-fulfilling prophecy. You expect to fail, so you give up and allow yourself to fail.

When I was newly sober, I remember thinking even 24 hours was too difficult to get through. I was at the point where I was just staying sober an hour at a time. But I did it, and so can you! It is very simple: don't drink, no matter what. Simple doesn't mean easy, but there really is no trick to it. Making a list of alternatives or plans to help yourself keep from drinking are helpful, and also lists of people you can call. And I would also suggest focusing on sobriety. This isn't the time to overhaul your entire life, as tempting as it may be. Wait on major life decisions, avoid starting new self improvement plans, and changing relationships. When you are struggling to stay sober, your perspective of yourself and the people and situations around you isn't always accurate. You have one task today: don't drink. You can definitely do this!
Gal220 is offline  
Old 05-22-2018, 08:31 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,241
oh ja, went back to drinking a gazillion times and eventually did not.
fini is offline  
Old 05-22-2018, 09:35 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
If it helps I must have said thousands of times "I am never drinking again.". This time I had an especially bad incident that was like the straw that broke the camels back, and family invested in my quit and giving me ultimatums. The people I live with expect my sobriety. It's multiple reinforcements.

for your battle you have to build a wall and it must be made of many important bricks. You have exercise and your therapist and SR. Build a bigger wall.
Stayingsassy is offline  
Old 05-22-2018, 10:04 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
I had more day ones than I can remember. But I finally reached the point where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. You can too.
least is offline  
Old 05-22-2018, 10:37 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Colorado
Posts: 202
Take it a day at a time.
JudicatorPanzer is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:26 PM.