Haha!
That is sooo mean Arp!
Well 90% of my bank holiday weekend was wonderful. The sun shone and we did lots of outdoorsy things. My toothache has subsided at long last and it felt great to enjoy free time.
Unfortunately by 5pm yesterday an argument over housework resulted on you-know-who leaving me AGAIN!
I have to draw a line under this adolescent behaviour and let him go without a fight. It's just bloody stupid now. I can't understand how my so-called love life has been so turbulent. I simply can't be in this volatile relationship and be a proper mum to my girls. It's just wrong.
My feelings around it are more panic and worry about my future and inability to cope on my own rather than upset at the breakdown of the relationship. That must mean something?
I had to fight my addiction HARD last night. No warning and bam it was there promising me blissful oblivion. F**k off alcohol I won't do it.
The thing I'm most cross about is him doing this 1 week before Hannah starts her GCSEs. He is an immature man-child who has been single most of his life. I don't need another child I have 2 already. We met while I was still drinking. We drank together every night. He stopped shortly after I did with no problem whatsoever so I am grateful to him for his support during some pretty goddamn horrific times.
We are very different people and even more so now I am sober. Maybe it is indeed time to move on and take some time to just be me. I have no body clock to think about. I have no serious financial issues.
It's hard work being a single parent. I'm quite terrified if how I'll cope. Sobriety is the only way that I will cope.
So here I am home alone with a paperback and a herbal tea. Thinking of things I have to be grateful for because it does help shift the mind away from the worry and self-pity.
Thank you for letting me get that out Mayflies ❤❤❤