"destroying each other" means YOU were destroying HIS ability to drink freely. Please do not twist his inability to hold himself accountable into your fault, This is who they are, this is what they do, period.
Good for you for moving to be closer to your family. You are on the correct path. Do yourself a favor and limit the contact you have with him to just concerns about your daughter. All else is just nonsense to make you feel bad, put your energy where it is needed right now and that is with your newborn. As someone has already stated, make sure you document EVERYTHING so that when you go for custody you have the ammunition you need and Lawyer Up (My favorite). You have already received such great advice from this crew but I have just a few more things I want to add, and I want you to think about.
Is a household with an active alcoholic the place where you want to raise a baby?
Do you trust him to take care of her needs if he is left alone with her?
How about him driving with her in the car?
And what about you? Is this the life you want for yourself?
Are you able to trust anything that comes out of his mouth?
This is no longer about him and once you start thinking that way every decision you make will become much easier! He has shown you numerous times who he is, believe it. I read a quote the other day that I would like to share with you:
Sometimes the best reason to let go of a toxic or abusive relationship is because your child is watching....
Keep posting, we are here!
Ro