Welcome Marielouise. I'm glad you found us and hope you find some support here.
It sounds like you have had one hell of a couple of months. The fact that he talked you into a child and then ran would make anyone's head spin in a cycle of WTFs.
Good on ya for every step (from the list to Alanon) you have taken to find a bit of sanity in the situation. Please keep at it and circle every wagon of support you can. This is tough stuff!