Oh - I so know the feeling of "Am I crazy?" Kind of like ... wait, I thought what I was asking for was somewhat along the lines of pretty normal stuff, things most people expect you to do. How does that make me (insert adjective your A uses - you get, defensive ... I get either 'judgmental' or 'angry')?
The only thing that helped me was therapy - and distance from my spouse. I basically stopped talking to him or interacting with him in anyway and that did wonders. To ensure I don't fall back into thinking that way ... I've continued therapy and have told my family and friends. I literally have on call a friend who says "You are not crazy." when I need it.