take2

Ok... I have to start by saying that I am SO guilty of snooping and that is one of my problems with this situation. But what was worse was what I found. Here's the cliff note version. My soon to be exAH just activated a credit card that we had during the marriage. I was nervous he actually used the card- since we are going thru the divorce I don't want this to go into the division of debt. So I kinda saw what he used the card for... this is where I want to scream... STEROIDS!!! The jerk has been maoning and groaning that he is broke b/c of the child support and he goes and spends $2000 on STEROIDS!!!!! What the F??? This whole time I believed the poor sap that he was broke and so down on his luck and the whole time he was trying to get money for this!!! Not to mention the $2000 cash he took off the card... and for what... who knows!!!

So this is my problem...
1. I should have NEVER snooped! I have not done this in 8 months. He is free to do what he wants and I can not control him. He is a grown man and makes his own decisions.

2. I am so angry that I felt sorry once again for this guy. He has tricked me again!!! I actually believed he was living a "normal" life.

3. OK- he is using STEROIDS now!!! How scary is that? Should I be concerned how he is with my children around? He gets them for 12 hours on Saturdays- of course this was court ordered under the stipulation that he remains sober, goes to AA, takes bi-polar meds. Obviously he is FAR away from recovery and thinking straight- correct me if I am wrong!!! He has done NOTHING the court order stated and now this!!!

Please someone talk some sense into me. Am I over-reacting?